Relationships: The Catalysts for Personal Growth


Every situation is a relationship and relationships when in alignment become a laboratory for growth for both parties involved.

In my work, I often hear individuals express bewilderment, saying, ‘I don’t understand why I keep attracting this type of person.’ Meanwhile, their partner may find themselves posing similar questions during therapy sessions. When it comes to intimate relationships, there is an undeniable common denominator – ourselves. While we may seek guidance and insight, we frequently overlook taking full responsibility for the role we play in the success or failure of the relationship.

In March in Growth Nation – my mental health and support community we are only talking about relationships.

Relationship Fairy Tales and the Illusion of Being Saved

Most fairy tales have a plot: For example, the story of Sleeping Beauty is based on lack of attention to one of the princess godmothers.  Hansel and Gretel lack acceptance by their stepmother. The Beast and the Beauty lack affection. Cinderella lacks appreciation, Snow White is allowed to be as beautiful as she is and live. 

Each example, the story has a happy ending, because someone comes along who makes up for what is missing. In other words, we have created a distorted impression that someone outside of ourselves can save us and we can take what they have: self-confidence, self-re resilience, purpose, energy, thrive, sexual desire, love etc… isn’t this theft ?   

Read: Where to Start with Therapy

The Key to Worthiness

As adults, we understand that the responsibility for our growth and fulfillment ultimately lies within ourselves; we cannot solely rely on being rescued by others. However, let me clarify – this does not mean we should refrain from seeking connections with wonderful individuals who can guide us towards healthier ways of receiving attention, affection, appreciation, and acceptance, alleviating our feelings of isolation and despair. Undoubtedly, the experience of falling in love is one of life’s most beautiful gifts, but we must also remember that the person who provides us with what was missing inevitably highlights what we lacked – a bittersweet cocktail of fulfillment and grief that can be challenging to navigate.

In case you missed: How to find direction on my IG 

Love and Connection

Connection is the foundation of any relationship; our existence started with the connection between our parents or caregivers. Connection is the fabric of our sense of well-being.

Love is a special kind of connection. When we care about someone, they truly matter to us. Caring involves taking a genuine interest in and responding to the specific needs of others, expressing genuine concern for what happens to them, and hoping for a positive outcome.

Love blossoms between us and others when we welcome connections from them and make connections with them. However, first, we must take a close look at our relationship with ourselves by asking: How do I show up for myself? How do I abandon myself? Who do I become when I am alone? Then, we must inquire: Does this relationship help to connect us in a caring way?


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