No one gets to adulthood without a wound that goes to the core – Robert Bly
If you browse social media like most people, you’ve likely encountered the ‘alpha males’ stereotype prevalent in male-oriented online spaces. These figures thrive on anger and make grand promises: they claim they can help you rise from nothing, heal your trauma, and become wealthy—all for the price of a generous fee.
You know the type: self-proclaimed ‘alpha males’ who prey on insecurities and perpetuate harmful stereotypes. From fake Tantra gurus featured in Netflix’s ‘Un-Well’ documentary to internet personalities like Andrew Tate, Adin Ross, and the hosts of Fresh and Fit, these figures often exploit complaints about women to gain followers and influence.
These are just a few faces of toxic masculinity, a trend that has long persisted in society. This issue is particularly prevalent on platforms like TikTok, where Gen Z congregates. There, incendiary videos promoting these harmful ideals can reach a whopping 11 million views. In one the videos one these “ alphamales say women should not be allowed to go on vacation alone” “They just want to be a hoe”, says Andrew tate.
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The Alpha Male Viral Formula: It is Effective, Laughable and Honestly Cheesy.
- Start with a truth that almost every man believes to be true, like “ Happy wife, Happy Life”
- Wrap it in the most inflammatory rhetoric possible.
This approach achieves two things:
- It attracts those who focus on and share the core truth.
- It also provokes those who fixate on the inflammatory aspects and share out of outrage.
- You hooked both, people who agree and people who hate you.
The rise of these self-proclaimed ‘Alpha males’ can be seen as a response to societal changes. Many men now view themselves as victims in a shifting cultural landscape. However, this victim mentality is merely a symptom of a much deeper problem
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Young Male Syndrome: The Vulnerable Years
This is a real, scientifically researched phenomenon. Men aged 15-35 are significantly more likely to:
- Take risks
- Act aggressively
- Engage in violence to gain or protect status
They also have higher rates of accidental death and homicide, both as victims and perpetrators.
Almost every man, myself included, goes through this phase. It’s a period of intense pressure to fight, have sex, or cause trouble. But remember, this is young male syndrome—it’s adolescent masculinity that hasn’t matured yet.
This form of masculinity can be intoxicating. It feels powerful and seems to offer a way to avoid dealing with life’s challenges.
Much of the “manosphere” content targets men in this vulnerable period. Using the viral formula mentioned earlier, these gurus create content that is:
- Aggressive
- Combative
- Full of “gotcha” moments
- Edited to portray the guru as an authority on manhood
These gurus often claim they’re being “silenced” for their views—while addressing millions of subscribers.
When you’re stuck in Young Male Syndrome, part of you craves this. Adolescent masculinity needs an enemy to fight against.”
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A Distorted Perception of “ Alpha Male” Masculinity
These so-called Alpha males have a distorted perception of what masculinity is, if any.
They preach separation, competition, disconnection, and domination of anything that threatens their masculinity, be it creativity, sadness, grief, trauma, mother nature, women, or other men.
They cut themselves off from anything that appears weak, defective, or might lead to defeat. In doing so, they isolate themselves from integral experiences that are part of facing the fullness of life—a key aspect of a healthy masculine drive.
Alpha Male: The Root of the Problem: Absent Guidance
These men are likely the product of adolescent parents and lacked the presence of a father figure who, despite sometimes having good intentions, didn’t know how to teach a young boy to become a functional adult—how to look, sound, and act. They are raised in households where the love language is shame, fear, suppression, and disconnection. Consequently, they never learn that true masculinity thrives on awareness, direction, discipline, and compassion.
Confronting the Issue: What Can You Do?
Do nothing. Ignore them. Don’t hate them. They thrive on hate – it’s their unique selling point. Hate will only reinforce their narrative and attract more vulnerable young men who feel underserved, alienated, and haven’t developed the emotional capacity to deal with deep issues.
Promoting Healthy Masculinity: A Path Forward
Share the message of healthy mature masculinity qualities promoted by Connor Beaton, John Wineland, Michael Gay, Robert Glover, just to name a few.
We must promote and amplify the voices of men who embody qualities of mature masculinity.
Additionally, we need to strive for a better understanding of what young men are truly seeking: answers to profound social, cultural, and even spiritual questions.
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